I love you, Holly. 5/8/1984 - 12/5/2006

In order to maintain my ability to grow and mature in this life, which I feel is especially important in light of my younger sister's recent death at the age of 22, I need to start with some honesty about myself. I know I could be all general and make grand pronouncements about our society and its failures, but that would be easy. I want to take the hard road -- the hard road of painful self-knowledge and humility. I want to admit that I, myself, have been and am emotionally stunted, and that lack of emotional depth and empathetic intuition has robbed me of many things in my life -- not least of which were years and years of time that I could have spent better knowing my sister.

Now she is gone and there is no way to get her back. But I believe that in these pages I can analyze the span of my life in an honest enough way that I will be able to cherish certain elements of her life and her personality as a part of my own life. I definitely want Holly and her humor and giving spirit and her fire to be a part of what I pass along to my kids. I want her to be a constant reminder of how short life is, and how urgent is the need to wrestle our wayward hearts into submission and live a life of commitment, integrity, and passion, before we lose out on our only chance to do so.

Dude, your hair is on fire.

I don't know how to define my sense of urgency, partly because it is so deeply tinged with sadness at this juncture, mere months after her death in December of 2006. But I know that it is something like what Pema Chodron is speaking of when she says that we should practice (she refers to Zen Buddhist practice) "like our hair is on fire." I feel that deep sense of urgency, and I feel the sadness of lost time and lost experiences that are forever locked away in that coffin with my sister's remains. I feel the certainty that life is suffering, but also that life can be pure and fierce and honorable and inviolably compassionate. I want the spirit of my sister's life to inform my own. I want to be certain of my own death and limited days just as she was. I want to look calmly on that eventuality and turn and take care of others, and have the welfare of others be my truest and most honest concern. And to do that I need to kick a lot of arrogance and big-headedness and self-righteousness out of my system.

What I wonder is, "Where does this lead me?" To borrow another religious thinker's words, Francis Schaeffer asked us, in the title of one of his books, "How should we then live?" Our knowledge and belief demand of us a certain caliber of existence, a certain purity of life.

I am not a religious purist, and I will not concern myself with the boundaries between Buddhism and Christianity (to cite two recent examples) or the divisions between scientific and religious thought. I won't concern myself with that at all. I will simply find the resources I need to live the most authentic life I can. I will then share those resources here. I imagine they will be pretty eclectic. Some will seem random (like parenting or home renovation articles, for example) but they will all make sense to me.

After all, dear reader, I am not really considering you when I write these things. I am actually in a conversation with myself. I simply don't mind if others look over my shoulder and perhaps find some of my resources useful.

Be Thou My Vision - Hymns: A Place of Worship - 4Him

Holly's Obituary

Holly Beth Moody Broussard May 8, 1984-December 5, 2006

Holly Beth Moody-Broussard

Don't weep, don't cry
Your salt wet tears won't heal me
I need to see your smile
Light up my world with a laugh
To know that you'll love me forever
Even after my breath is gone

Holly Beth Moody Broussard entered into the presence of her Lord on December 5, 2006 at the age of 22, by means of malignant melanoma--borne away from this life to a better one, carried by the words of the Psalms and the love of her family. She died at home on Cock Robin Island, Loleta, surrounded by her family, in the same house in which she was born, raised, and married. She was our "island girl" all the way.

She was born on May 8, 1984, to Graham and Rebecca Moody and was the youngest of five children. She attended the Loleta Elementary School through grade 3, after which she was homeschooled, graduating in 2002. She then worked as a front desk clerk for the Fortuna Country Inn until her illness forced her to stop. Even then she stayed busy living, and in the last weeks of her life she worked at a horse camp in Washington, organized her second annual Midsummer Masquerade, was a bridesmaid at two weddings, and traveled to Mexico where she swam with dolphins.

Much of Holly's life was taken up by, but not defined by, various medical challenges. At the age of eight she received a kidney transplant which entitled her to participate in the U.S. Transplant Games where, at age 14, she took home the bronze in the 50-meter dash. At 17 she was diagnosed with melanoma, and at 19 was engaged in the battle when she progressed to stage IV. Along the way she helped as a leader with AWANA at her church, learned to snowboard, developed a love for photography, wrote poetry, and read lots of books.

She met each new hurdle and challenge with grace and courage. Her spirit was indomitable and uncomplaining. She trusted that her Lord had all things in hand, would work all things for good, and see the number of her days fulfilled. She was an inspiration to so many, and we are all indebted to her for the example she set before us.

She has left behind her beloved husband, Jesse Broussard, who married her not knowing how much time they would have together; her parents, Graham and Rebecca Moody; her brothers, Joel Moody, and Caleb Moody with wife Missie; her sisters Brooke Moody, and Kate Reynolds with husband John; grandmother, Margaret Stevenson; nieces Emma and Leah Moody, and nephew Joel Moody, Jr.

Holly was blessed to have the care of many fine doctors over the years, among them Dr. Mogel of Fortuna; Drs. Portale and Kashani of UCSF; and the doctors and staff of Stanford. Thanks to Humboldt Home Health, especially Tammy and Cathy, and to Robert Johnson of Green's Pharmacy, Fortuna, who helped make it possible for us to care for her at home to the end. Most especially we thank Dr. Allen Mathew and Liz, whose care for Holly embodied the fullest sense of the word. She thought you were the best.

We offer thanks beyond words to those very special people who were with us through this all the way: Holly's special friends Ashley Menza, Bonnie Adams, Michelle Kennard, and Stephanie Hahner; the Dave Pierce family; the Bill Adams family; Jan Rowen; Josh and Chase Adams and all who helped with their labor of love; our church family; and all those ready and willing to step in and help. You lifted us up in love and prayer, and we thank God for you all.

Holly's body will be laid to rest, awaiting the Resurrection, in the Table Bluff Cemetery at a private graveside service. Family and friends are invited to a Memorial Service for her at the Loleta Fireman's Pavilion on Saturday, December 16, 2006, at 2:00 PM. Please come and share our joys and our sorrow as we remember our girl.

Memorial contributions may be made in Holly's name to Little Samaritan Mission, P. O. Box 969, Hickory, NC 28603; or to the Melanoma Research Foundation, 24 Georgetown Road, Princeton, NJ 08540.

We will miss her. We will grieve, but not as those without hope: "She is not lost to you who is found to Christ; she is not sent away, but only sent before."